Finally, an X-rated Johnny 5. F**kzilla, which is easily the best named sex robot in their short but promising history, is five feet tall and intentionally modeled after the Short Circuit star. F**kzilla’s two arms each hold a variety of modified toys, including a bunch of rubber tongues on a conveyer belt. The user can control F**kzilla with a remote control. If you do a bit of online searching, you can find a video of a woman volunteering to, er, demo F**kzilla at Arse Elektronika, the tech/porn expo funded by the government of Vienna, Austria. When is the mayor of Cleveland going to put up funding for an American robot
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Two 15 year-old '80s nerds create a sex bot that teaches them lessons about self-esteem and tricks them into not actually having sex with her. At the end of the movie she becomes a gym teacher. This made five hundred million dollars in international box office receipts. LeBrock would go on to marry Steven Seagal, become one of the first private citizens to own a hyperbaric chamber, and get pretty fat (this sentence consists only of truths).
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What exactly is she smiling about? Now we have a concrete answer: having her seven strategically placed touch sensors fondled with implied consent. Along with potentiometers in her nipples and photosensors in her eyes (she is watching you), Lisa lives up to her name. If left untouched for long enough, Lisa will indiscriminately moan at strange passersby who catch her eye, hoping to attract their grabby grease fingers. You're embarrassing yourself, girlfriend! Like a human woman, you can only please her by correctly guessing and activating sensors in a completely randomized, predetermined sequence that changes as soon as you figure it out.
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The DVD of Making Mr. Right is most frequently bought on Amazon with the DVD of Howard the Duck. If that is not enough to convince you of how great this movie is, perhaps you would like to consider the repercussions of creating an astronaut/sex robot that looks exactly like acclaimed actor John Malkovich: unmitigated ecstasy and a heapin helpin of Ann Magnuson. Unfortunately, the Malkovich droid falls to the claimer of many a mechanical sex worker: short circuiting due to water exposure.
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Not only does she sing traditional New Year’s songs and put out, Aiko the gynoid (aheehee) will clean your house without talking back. Ladies, it’s time to step our game up for our mens—magic tricks? figure skating?—or this robobitch will make us obsolete. Aiko can converse at the level of a five year old human, which is perfect as she can understand and follow commands but will be stumped into submission by your logically complex man arguments. She also has sensors in her breasts and mechaginer, and knows the difference between different kinds of touch—she will actually slap you if you get rough. Aiko isn’t quite finished, but creator Le Trung will be happy to accept your donations in order to get this lady on her hands and knees in your kitchenette just as quick as can be. To wax the floors.
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Jude Law acted alongside the boy child Haley Joel Osment in this horrible effort by two of the universe’s greatest filmmakers, Stanley Kubrick and Stephen Spielberg, who took over after Kubrick died. Curiously, he modeled his character after Fred Astaire, whose tap-dancing had the effect of making him look less gay. Law dances in this one as well, and it sure doesn’t make anyone I know want to pay him for his “lover-robot” services—even with that immobile Ken doll coif.
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Their website is all deutsch that and sackhaummen this, but from what I gather they have a bunch of lady sex dolls that look like Bratz and one dude that looks like a balding, earthworm-colored Na’vi and comes in both hetero and homo versions. Cheers to them for having the foresight to replicate the obvious, yet often overlooked, physical differences between straights and gays, such as longer index than middle fingers. These dolls also simulate breathing and a pulse, but don’t worry, erotic adventurers: you can turn these on and off to suit your awful preferences.
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Pamela Gidley plays the snuggletron who short circuits on the kitchen floor thanks to an overflowing dishwasher and an amorous businessman. Since she was a 2017 limited edition (looking forward to leasing one of these in six short years!), her owner has to hire a red-headed, leather-clad, lasso expert Melanie Griffith to help him track down a replacement body in the post-apocalyptic United States. The film was nominated for eleven Oscars and won twelve.
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It’s not just about you—you want to make sure the sex robot’s enjoying herself too, right? The Japanese Honey Dolls will moan and simulate climax as you perform your disgusting worm dance thanks to built-in sensors that activate the MP3 player when touched (the actual sounds come out the speaker in her skullbox). You make a good point: this wouldn’t be a Japanese company without being absolutely fucking disgusting, would it? Ah, we’re in luck: this one has sex dolls modeled on nubile teen girls. While the other dolls have their eyes open, these teen girls are fast asleep “dreaming.” Nice to know you can have a peaceful dream while being ravaged by the man who drugged your wasabi Capri Sun on the subway.
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Pris is a “pleasure model” replicant created to look just like Daryl Hannah cut her own hair with children’s safety scissors and a live wire. She’s kind of hot in a vengeful ghost that stalks the Hot Topic way, but she only has orb modules for the mecha-Aryan Rutger Hauer, who gives her a passionate kiss after Indiana Jones “retires” her with his pistolero.
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Roxxxy is made by True Companion, LLC, which stands for Limited Liability Corporation. That means when she becomes self-aware and simultaneously electrocutes and ingests your genitals, you can’t sue. Roxxxy won’t only lie still and pretend to be back home in Kentucky while you drip monkey sweat all over her, she’ll talk to you, too. She can’t move on her own, but can make pre-recorded sounds through an internal loudspeaker. After you make your abomination, she can talk about all manner of subjects, including the Manchester United “football” team. Because that’s what all men want, right? Incessant chatter after sex? Her creator was, I shit you not, inspired to make the doll after the September 11th attacks. USA! USA!
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